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Krishna

“I am a late discovery adoptee, and this is my story. In June of 2019 I took a DNA test for fun and discovered that I'm 100% Southern and Eastern Indian. This turned out to be a very interesting predicament, as my mother is Cuban, and my father is Indian. Something clearly did not make sense, and yet somehow it explained a number of things about my childhood. It explained how I was raised, and the differences between myself and my family. When I asked my parents about it, at the time they both said that these tests are never right. And that my father's genes are stronger. In my mind I'm thinking, "That's just bogus. And totally not how DNA works."

 

But I kept quiet and figured that maybe they needed time to get their story straight. It took another DNA test and roughly 2 months later for my mother to admit to a doubt I always had, and confirm that yes, I am adopted. As it turns out, my mother and father were in fact, not my birth parents. They are my adoptive parents. Looking back, I can see so many flaws and inconsistencies in their story. Growing up, the narrative for why I did not look like my Cuban side of the family was that I took after my adoptive father and the Indian side. And I believed it. Even though I always knew I was nothing like the family I was supposedly born into. I remember looking in the mirror wondering where my looks come from. Not only was I different in looks, but also in thoughts and just the nature of who I am.

One of the hardest things I'm having to deal with, aside from the lies and deception, is the sudden realization that I am no longer a biracial person. I never was. Through no fault of my own, I have been lying to everyone around me and myself about who I really am. I feel like a fool and a fraud. I've used this knowledge of being a biracial person as my identity and a means to form relationships with everyone around me. But that's not who I am. I now have to learn to accept myself as one race as I rebuild my identity. It has been a roller coaster of emotions since this discovery. And I'm trying to obtain my adoption paperwork and figure out exactly where I was adopted from in India.

 

Hopefully, I’ll be able to locate my true ancestry and find true roots. But until then, I’ll continue to look in the mirror and wonder where it is that I come from. As for my adoptive parents, I'm still trying to figure out where we go from here. By not telling me I was adopted, they avoided difficult conversations. Only to lead to an extremely difficult conversation of why they didn’t tell me. Quite frankly, there wasn’t a single answer they could have given me that made it the right choice.” (Ohio, USA)

Krishna lives with his wife and two children in Ohio, USA. His goal is to share his story through his blog. Follow Krishna’s blog on https://adoptedfromindia.blogspot.com/ and keep up with him on Instagram @indianlatediscoveryadoptee.