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© 2018 by Udaan - Uniting Adoption

Angana with her family

 "All my life I have lived feeling "I’m not good enough" (almost 24 years).

 

It affected my relationships with others and of course myself. Just when life would get too good to be true, I would shut myself. Despite having NYU and LSE under my belt, I still felt like I wasn't good enough. Upon my mother's insistence to overcome this feeling, I was urged to acknowledge my pattern.  

 

It wasn’t until 6th June 2018 (yes, I remember the date vividly) when a friend of mine confided in me with some of his personal challenges. After hearing him, I realised my respect and compassion for him and his honesty grew. That made me aware of "what I was doing wrong all my life". 

 

I was always afraid to share my truth, my deepest truth that I had fearfully hidden. This realisation was my turning point.

 

I decided to share my truth with him. To my surprise just by sharing my story, I opened a whole new dimension to my life.

By giving a part of my guarded secret, I received so much insight. 

 

Before I was born, my parents had lost two baby girls in 1992 and 1994. It was then that they chose to adopt...and they received me as their gift! Voila! That’s right, I’m adopted! It is no more a guarded secret. Just saying those words make me feel so much lighter. Previously, I've always been petrified to share my secret in the fear of judgement and rejection. But now I know there is nothing to fear. 

 

All this time I was self-sabotaging my opportunities in life because somewhere deep down I felt rejected by my biological parents. To avoid any further rejections I would shy away from any deeper relationships until I collapsed with the weight of self-rejection.

 

I was wrong. I am so glad that I was so wrong in believing that I was not good enough. In fact, I am one of the very few lucky people who became aware of this pattern and could break free from it at such an early stage in life.

And now I want to help others who are in my position to take their Udaan.

(London, United Kingdom) 

 

Angana currently lives in Dubai and is working on a few tech startup ideas. You can connect with her on Facebook and Instagram @AnganaMaheshwari. You can also read more about her here