Brian & Ashley Middleton

“We were initially led to adoption after multiple failed fertility treatments. The word adoption produces so many feelings for me; joy/pain, love/hurt, fulfilling/broken. One word holds so many juxtapositions and differences. It pulls me back into hurt, fear and rejection. It pulls me closer to God and opens my heart to compassion and understanding for the women choosing adoption for their child. They choose life. They choose to take the hard road; a path of the unknown, that also holds those same juxtapositions that I'm feeling as a hopeful adoptive parent, but it an extremely different way.

Learning to be patient and sit in the season of waiting has been one of the most difficult things so far (minus the piles of paperwork!) A moment of clarity: While sometimes it's easy to be judgmental when you hear stories of expectant/birth mothers, pause and know that isn't your job. Your job as a hopeful adoptive parent is to be empathetic and supportive, no matter the circumstances. Your job is to educate yourself. Your job is to be open and understanding. A major high was when we received emails asking if we would like our profile to be shown to two different expectant moms. Such excitement until we found out they selected different families. I felt such a sense of sadness for us, but also a huge rush of joy and happiness for the families that were chosen. Almost immediately, I then thought about how the expectant moms were feeling- so many questions and thoughts running through my mind. I also felt emotions rush over me- feeling unwanted, unworthy, rejected. I felt my infertility issues and negative emotions creep back in. I cried so hard. I prayed and realized the chosen families also prayed for those children. I had to move beyond my negativity and feel love and joy for those families. And now we wait, sometimes patiently, mostly impatiently. It gives me time to reflect and pray.”

(Springfield, Ohio, OH, USA)

Rachel and Alex live in Springfield, Ohio and are eagerly waiting to do a domestic adoption.